Posts Tagged ‘Chicago wedding’

In Praise of Awkward!

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Occasionally, something happens at a wedding that is unplanned and sweetly awkward.

It might be the flower girl who proceeds all the way up the aisle with her basket of petals intact — then dumps it all in one go at the front. Yes!

Or the ring bearer, very young and very tired, who is carried up the aisle by his daddy and needs to keep the little pillow for his own tousled head. Sweet!

A few years ago, I wrote a little poem about this phenomenon — this humanizing through error — this creation of memories through mistakes. And I called it:

In Praise of Awkward

I wish I weren’t so perfect,
So right in every way,
‘Cause if I weren’t so perfect,
I’d be a lot more brave.

When I was one, I made mistakes,
Fewer when I was two.
Now I’m grown up and never err,
Which makes me scared, like you. . .

. . .’cause when you never make mistakes,
You’re perfect, yes, that’s true.
But oh how long you have to take,
Just checking things you do.

You check to get the words just right,
The music must be fine
And when your checking’s all complete,
You check just one more time.

So with this checking care you take,
There’s no time to be bold,
No time to state uncertain thoughts,
You’re checking ‘til you’re old.

I wish I weren’t so perfect,
So right in every way,
‘Cause if I weren’t so perfect,
I’d be a lot more brave.

Blessings to you, and for all of us, sweetly memorable weddings!

Time for the bride and groom to be heard.

Friday, March 19th, 2010

A wedding at the Crown Plaza last weekend went beautifully, and I was especially taken with the musicians — a string quartet whose members regularly play with the Symphony.   I was thrilled when the violinist came up to me at the end of the ceremony and said: “That was wonderful.  I was particularly moved when you held the microphone for the bride and groom’s’ vows so that they could be heard.  I go to so many weddings where all you hear from beginning to end is the minister.  It’s one of my strongest peeves about weddings.  After all, who are we here to listen to?  But you simply held it for them – we couldn’t even hear you – we heard them.  That was just lovely.  Thank you.” 

I thanked her, too, and told her that such feedback is very helpful for me – I really only go to my own ceremonies, and am just doing what feels right.  I learned early on to do this with the microphone — it’s always seemed important for the couple be heard saying their vows to one another.  And this is something that is often a surprise, a very moving one, for their guests.  Lovely.

Hilton Thorndike Chapel

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

Last weekend, a beautiful wedding – at the Hilton Thorndike Chapel (Univ. of Chicago) – a tiny, beautiful chapel that seats about 50 guests. It has high ceilings and the same deep blue stained glass windows as the Bond Chapel, but is an exquisitely small, perfect place – and was lit by candles at 4:00 in the afternoon. Outside in the hallway, a group of young people played Celtic music. And the bride and groom were so very much in love.  I look forward to doing another ceremony at this chapel, and wonder if the magic will be there again.  Wonderfilled.